So anyway, I was going to my usual Friday night viewing of hot shirtless men on TheBerry.com, and while on there a HUGE CAPITAL ONE AD pops itself up on me. Holy fuck. It was the size of the whole screen and, mind you, it "crashed" into the screen, with glass-shattering special effects and shit. I thought I was going to DIE!
...Overtly dramatic? Nah. But it did freeze up my screen every single time I went to a new page. And the teeny tiny little x{close} button on the bottom has THE NERVE to open itself up a new tab and direct me to their website.
What? Huh? You bastards...
Is it too much to ask that having ads on TOP, on the SIDES, on the BOTTOM, and even between posts is enough when viewing a website? Like, when I close my browser, will I turn to my right and see a huge ad levitating in front of me like this episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force?
"Man, you need to watch what you agree to. 'Cuz the last one nearly took my head off!"
Cartoons are poignant sometimes.....
So anyway as promised I'm gonna give you a little taste of everything. I'm an avid TV watcher, so I run across crap from all over cable (except premium cable because I'm poor *sad face*.) I was watching with my family that documentary titled 'Queen of Versailles,' which is about a rich, spoiled, oblivious woman who is recklessly spending her husband's money even after she knows his hotels are basically bankrupt. Her husband owns/owned/looks at from across the street the hotel chain Westgate Resorts, and they went down to Orlando, FL and decided to toss all their money into a toilet and flush, flush, flush! Nah, but what I mean is that they decided to build a replica of the Chateau de Versailles and have it be the object of desire/envy/barfs due to it's opulence and taste. Well, the stock market began to plummet and they struggled to finish building it and eventually it was foreclosed on.
Right, so the husband's hotels fell on hard times and money was tight. So tight that he had a nervous breakdown and got butt hurt that every room had lights on and threatened not to pay the electric bill to teach them a lesson. He went into detail on Christmas about how his parents struggled and could only afford a chocolate bar for a Christmas gift. His son came on and says the family is struggling and near broke, so obviously the next scene consists of his wife getting a chemical peel($500), and botox ($350/area). Mind you, she looks like this...
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| Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaahhhhhh. |
So its my mom, dad and I watching this. My father is complaining that he won't be able to sleep tonight, due to this heartbreaking tale, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to them!", and I'm getting uncontrollably irate (typical) due to her selfishness. Let me remind you that this is a documentary that they showed at Sundance and it got rave reviews for its honesty. IT GOT RAVE REVIEWS, and not due to it's entertainment value or to allow the minimum wage earning audience to scream "Fuck the man!", but due to the fact that you can feel sorrow and contempt for them at the same time! God, imagine a human being feeling TWO WHOLE emotions at once! Where is the Oscar for this ground-breaking work?
And of course, you're asking, "Spazzo, where are the pictures of this BEAUTIFUL hovel, I mean house?!" Well, its called google 'cuz I can't find any.....
URG, so yeah, things like THAT get me pissed. For obvious reasons. I need to relax, maybe you do too. HERE'S A VIDEO!!!!
BECAUSE MERMAIDS READ PEOPLE MAGAZINE UNDERWATER!
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