Yes, I use straight up lemons as deodorant now. Why? Because Big Pharma wants to kill us all, don't you see? Everything is in tin cans or plastic jars, oh God, and the ALUMINUM! Won't someone please stop feeding the children POLYPROPYLENE!!
Yeah, this is the sound of my green goddess inner conscience now, screaming at me to drink filtered water out of glass mason jars. Washing my face with baking soda and drinking tablespoon after tablespoon of undiluted, unfiltered pure apple cider vinegar. Yes, go ahead, skip this post. I do not blame you. My green conscience is only quieted by the fact that I'm obsessed with concocting a strategy on how to defeat Ramsus and Miang now that Elly left with my only Ether Doubler.
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| ................. LEMONS, okaY?! |
So I have been on an exercise kick the past few months and decided that I needed to start eating better, as eating junk food and being sedentary left me many pounds overweight. I got sucked into the alkaline vs acidic craze, was turned away from it, and just decided to start making green smoothies instead. It was the easiest thing to do, really. I don't eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, so I just go out, grab the grossest looking bunch of leafy greens and then buy fruits I like to sweeten that shit up. Shove into a blender and voila, you've got a jelly jar filled with chunky vegetable vomit. Outstanding!
Yeah, that's my face if I don't add enough fruit in with a really bitter green. Although the point is to not really add any fruits, I still do that shit 50/50, k? I'm not hard enough, yet. Well, I will have to be soon - as drinking green smoothies everyday has left my bank account near empty. I mean, I'm using wilted vegetables and just ripping off the brown, slimy parts. Don't look at me like that, I'm still taking ACV everyday, bitch!
The downside of starting to add nutritious foods to a junk-laden diet is the purging. Yes, purging, not like how bulimics do it but close. Your body starts detoxing and clearing all the badness out, leaving you with gross skin and a weird odor. I have zits on my fucking shoulders! But alas, It will pass - I hope. I have such an increase in energy and my poops are solid again (gross). I also feel fuller for longer and don't snack as ferociously as I used to. Plus I've lost weight! But the zits, holy hell...
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| Fuck YOU, guys! |
I then started looking into natural, homeopathic remedies for ailments I suffer from. Apple Cider Vinegar is the constant, popping up all over (like my zits) the web with a wide range of benefits. Drink it, apply it to your skin, wash your hair with it, etc. - It will literally cure a whole bunch of problems you have in any area. I then got into how hair, skin and makeup products are filled with really harmful ingredients that are linked to cancer, so I started looking at alternatives to lotion, soap, shampoo, toothpaste and deodorant. Basically essential oils, baking soda, baking soda + essential oils, baking soda and a lemon wedge. LOL no joke, I use baking soda for everything. But until I can save up some cash to buy all natural organic makeup, I'm stuck using sparing amounts of Maybelline. Also, them.
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| Is that carrot peeing? |
So if you think that eating vegetables out of cans or plastic bags is cool - nuh uh, you lose. I am so afraid of them now, after realizing that I am accumulating metal in the base of my neck. And how plastic anything contains chemicals that are weakening my immune system. Fuck that! I will behave as a rational, non-hysterical and definitely hard to sway individual and wash my ass with arrowroot and drink filtered rain water out of my hands, thank you very much! Namaste, bitches!
Also, I totally would.
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